We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
