Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
