obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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