New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
