If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i black out too much to be "responsible"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
