we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
