Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
