i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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