I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
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