How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He passed out mid-signature
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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