We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
