Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
