my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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