Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
