my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
