We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
