He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
