i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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