I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
