I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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