you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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