lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
