everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
