The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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