When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
