i may or may not be watching the land before time
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
