This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So much Jack, so little girl.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
