yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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