dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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