I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
