I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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