the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
