Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
