SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just had sex bonerless
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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