no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
