Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
