We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
