Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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