A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
