can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize