He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
