Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize