just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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