why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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