office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
