but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
