singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
