in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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