i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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