FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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