i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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