do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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