i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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