I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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