Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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