You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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