I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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