I bet he comes in French.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
