Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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