just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
