I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize