We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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