Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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